me, to new hostess: these instructions (for making tiramisu) are very specific: „take 20 eggs from the 3rd fridge at the back…” – if you take them from the 2nd fridge, it won’t come out as good”
new hostess: yeah, but they forgot a very important ingredient. it should say at the end: add love. mix carefully.
me: and did you add love, anyway?
new hostess: nah, i just spit in it.
joe, the italian cook: „the chinese, they eat cats, dogs, they eat everything that moves. so if you go to china, don’t move!”
lorraine, our french prof: „savez-vous qu’est-ce qu’on doit faire pour reanimer un ontarien?”
lorraine: „c’est pas grave!”
one of my classmates in french missed class for a week. he comes back and everybody’s curious re: why.
y., another classmate: „j’ai essaye’ de t’appeller trois fois, mais tu es comme une fille quebecoise.”
d. has tests coming up and he’s decided to hole up and study, or, as he put it, break away from civilization.
me: „but you’d better keep calling me. i’m not very civilized.”