more dayshift lore

iunie 21, 2010

erik:

„what is the difference between admiration and inspiration?”

„it’s a sin to be able to do more, and be satisfied with doing less.”

[i am actually not quoting, but paraphrasing, of course]: „a lot of immigrants come to canada for an escape, and then, instead of starting to live in reality they go on living inside their heads.why did you come here for, then, if not to be a real person in this country?”


we are eastern europeans

iunie 21, 2010

we carry pictures of orthodox icons in the photo slot of our wallets. we cheer when serbia beats germany in soccer. we are fonder of our grandparents than our parents. in montreal we strive for good french, with a vengeance. we see the contradiction in making a case against kosovo but pro quebec (and the other way round). we tell jokes, we tell stories. our childhoods feel like a different planet. we want to ‘go back’ and know there’s no going back. we miss rhymes in poetry. when something really happens that affects us directly, we talk around it first, for a long long while (like me now).


the complaints choir of our household

iunie 14, 2010

on the approximate model of complaints choirs, but obvs without an actual melody, so sorry. i was just missing making silly rhymes.

#

a rainy monday morning can spoil the whole week

my perruche keeps screaming while i’m  trying to sleep

my roommate makes the coffee too weak (too strong)

whatever can go wrong today probably will  [i think this is the chorus, or can serve as such]

*

the landlords are trying to sell our place

the quiche takes two hours to bake, it’s a disgrace

my umbrella is too big to open in the street

we’ve got too many projects, but nothing concrete

*

i drink just one beer then i act like i’m high

seeing a hockey stick  still makes me cry

all the date squares got stuck to the pan

i always get sunburnt but don’t get a tan

*

my french class is useless, my job is a joke

the month’s barely started and my phone bill left me broke

the grocery has fancy chocolate i can’t afford to buy

hot chicks always go out with ugly short guys

*

my dream was so awesome, why did i wake up

i’m always afraid to look at price tags for stuff

i wish my period would just come and go away

my roommate talks even when she’s got nothing to say

*

my bones ache like hell, i feel 50 years old

i can’t show off my cute dress without catching a cold

i keep keeping myself away from my goals

why do guys ask for my number if then they don’t call?

*

time goes by so fast we’re doing things but still

whatever can go wrong today probably will


work keeps me sane

iunie 13, 2010

…relatively. considering the degree of sanity you need in order to work there in the first place.

#

kitchen help, leaning on wall that separates kitchen and dishwashing area: „busy night, eh? i looove to see people hard at work!”

carmen, scrubbing pans: „i take it that you haven’t been hit with a pan by an eastern-european woman before?”

#

erik: „carmen, could you please pass me one of those containers?”

carmen: „sure” [hands him container]

erik: „thank you for your cooperation on this small but very important matter.”

#

carmen, at midnight/kitchen closing time, to a. [my personal favourite cook]: „you speak french just like me! your words just go into the air like they were suspended in a bubble…you know? like in cartoons?”(demonstrates with hands)

a. : „uh, so you did get that beer pitcher [the manager] sent to the back.”

#

carmen : „a., about your dirty shoes, just so you know: i’ve timed myself, and the nights when you’re not working it takes me 20 minutes less to sweep and mop the place.”

a., making sad face: „how can you say that to me, i thought you were my friend.”

carmen: „i am your friend, but definitely not a friend of your shoes.

#

carmen, to dishwasher/shiftmate: „so you want to take the trash up at the same time as the [used] oil? hmmm, and how exactly will you manage that in one go?”

d.: ” well, if we put the oil in a separate trolley and you come with me. come on, i’ll race you to the garbage bins!”

#

isaac: „so have you guys decided who’s doing the mopping tonight?”

d.: „i say let’s play rock- paper- scissors!”

#

our manager n. is greek ( „carmen! that faucet is dripping and in my country they don’t have enough water!”). so, he’s passing along the back of the kitchen, and someone drops/breaks a plate. noise, scramble to get the broom and dustpan etc.

n., completely deadpan: „this is an italian restaurant, not a greek restaurant!”

#

and n. is really awesome. he can do any kind of work in the restaurant better than the actual worker. talk about old school approach. he has the shiniest shoes ever – how do i know this? because he keeps climbing on stuff, i.e. broken dishwashing machine , to identify the leaking spot. also: he got up on the kitchen stove with me to demonstrate the cleaning of the stove with easy-off – he sat down on a milk crate, with an apron over his suit and a clean towel on his head, and got down to work. i am continually in awe of him.

#

erik and i sing all through the daytime shift. sometimes just humming, other times the situation requires for top-of-your voice bellowing. there’s the noise of the dishwashing machine, then the mixing of the various soups and sauces, blah. so we sing. we have diverging repertoires, but finally hit upon songs we both love ,and with lots of lyrics, so by now we can duet „ironic” and „torn” beginning to end. it’s a blast.

also erik has these quiz-type questions that he asks everybody who’s in sight at that moment – busspeople, hostesses, me. example of question: ” how do you accomplish greatness when nothing else will do?”


back of the kitchen

iunie 1, 2010

carmen, surveying kitchen disaster: „when you said i could take out the big tray, i thought that was the end of dirty dishes.”

cook : „my friend, there is no end to dirty dishes.”

#

girl cook, bringing out a bunch of pots and pans: „watch out, hot stuff here!”

carmen : ” oh, stop bragging!”

#

bussboy, filling up the tray with dirty glasses: „please, i need glasses!”

carmen: „i need world peace, and i need it right now!”

#

kitchen help, bringing out a sizzling pan: „watch out, this is very hot!”

carmen: „oh okay then, i’ll let isaac [my shift partner] pick it up”

#

carmen, after doing a slow, lousy job of cleaning kitchen walls: „i feel so bad, i kept you waiting and it looks like hell now.”

erik, one of the cooks: ” i don’t have the time to feel bad. feeling bad is luxury. have a nice day, merry christmas!”

#

isaac, about one of the other dishwashers, m., who left 2 weeks ago: „he saw hunger.” i keep remembering this when i think of m, and what he’s doing there where he moved. he worked like a demon but/and yes, he was famished all the time. chewing on bread, taking his lunch break before us. going back home at night to cook rice with his roommate. „he saw hunger”, i imagine it like he had seen a tiger laying in the grass one step away. like he can never unsee it now.