(h/t to yael and sonja)
– i don’t want october to end. it used to be „my month”, the golden time, the month i would’ve liked to be born in, (just because that would make me a libra instead of a cancer? maybe). and in october all things still look possible. the beauty (starting with the light and the leaves) is closer to splendor than decay. november is clear and harsh on the spirit. it does sound so good though .
– i love it (not) when in the middle of assignment deadline times a NEW idea for a new story, a totally unrelated, what’s-it-doing-there idea pops up and sticks in my head, but then when the deadline’s over becomes more immaterial, elusive and stubborn. this one is at the stage where it only shows up, for a few minutes, when i load dishes around noon. hmmm. what to do to coax it?
– it’s a cluster of happenings: hallowe’en – day of the dead – lukas’/elena’s b’day – elections. (i don’t want to count my thesis meeting in yet). i keep thinking. how important and lasting in my memory this time last year stands, although it never seemed so at that point. obviously.
– i think my restraint so far this autumn has been admirable, so now i get the right to say i HOPE they vote obama on tuesday. and i am scared.
– people apparently want me to write/submit/blah-blah. i get a feeling that my maureen class might take off to better feelings. and/but i’ve got so little time. it’s got to be one of these days, as always, when i say look, carmen, this is the plan. and i’ve got no words to formulate how scary that is.
– amazing anecdote, via maureen, from a flannery o’connor short story: there’s this philosopher lady living in the countryside, in this amazing landscape, but she notices nothing around herself because her life is so much just the ideas in her head. then something happens to her in the story, and at the end she looks and discovers there’s a stream flowing in front of her house. which she hadn’t noticed before. it made my day.
– i want to have a post exclusively on „parties and gatherings”, but it’s still a mystery for me how to approach it. the basic idea is my tendency to fix myself onto one person and make a whole dozens-of-people event about that one person and how wonderfully i interacted (flirted?) with that one person. a bit disquieting. really.